I am in the midst of a lot of chaos right now. The amount of things that are up ended right now has been overwhelming for me. It’s been draining me and taxing me. And my personal resources are so limited anyway, with the cancer and a finite income…that I simply have no idea how to reconcile the situation. I’ve only been able to come up with one solution. And I really don’t want to do it. But I don’t see any other option.

I’m truly and utterly exhausted dealing with everything. Because it’s been one thing after another, compounding. A relentless barrage of ugliness. My posts have reflected all this hardship weighing on me. Even the strongest people are vulnerable when too much is piled on. My feelings are still overwhelmed and the numbness is still there. And I don’t like feeling weakness. Mainly because the world doesn’t care.

That was confirmed by an attorney I spoke to last week, when he said that exact thing to me. The world simply doesn’t care what you are going through. The world will take what it wants, no matter the cost. At the expense of everything, if need be. I am in upheaval on several fronts, and trying my best to navigate it all. I’m a fixer by nature, and am trying to figure it all out. But is available in one hand, doesn’t meet the need in the other. So I’m just asking that no one judge me too much while I work my way through my latest obstacle course.